GarBob FieldPants
by kirbyfan64
Summary: Nermal helps Plankton steal the Krabby Patty formula so Garfield and Spongebob team up to stop them.
1. That's Not Something You See Every Day

It was a very boring Monday in Garfield's house and nothing was going on. The most interesting thing there was Garfield sitting on the couch and watching TV with Odie.

Garfield: How come nothing good can ever happen on Mondays Odie?

Odie: Ruff!

Garfield: Yeah, I don't know either. The only thing that could make this day worse is...

Out of nowhere Nermal walked in from the front door.

Nermal: Hey, Garfield!

Garfield: Huh, Nermal.

Nermal: What are you guys watching?

Garfield: Spongebob.

Mr. Krabs (on TV): The Krabby Patty law must be enforced. For the future of The Krusty Krab depends on it.

Spongebob (on TV): Don't worry Mr. Krabs. As long as these pants are square and this Sponge is Bob, I will not let you down!

Spongebob then picked up Mr. Krabs and held him in the air.

Mr. Krabs (on TV): Uh Spongebob, could you let me down?

Nermal: I've always rooted for Plankton to steal the secret formula.

Garfield: Why's that?

Nermal: Because I don't see why Mr. Krabs can't let him have it. I mean it's a hamburger recipe, how bad could it be if Plankton saw it?

Garfield: Because when he got the formula in the movie he took over the world.

Nermal: But that still could've happened even if he failed to steal it.

Garfield: How?

Nermal: He could've forced the helmets on the people like he did for Squidward.

Garfield: Well you guys can watch the show, I'm gonna go have a snack.

Garfield then walked into the kitchen and the second he got in there a tornado like thing came out of the TV and grabbed Nermal.

Nermal: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

The tornado then sucked Nermal into the TV. Odie then ran into the kitchen to get Garfield.

Odie: Arf arf arf.

Garfield: Odie whatever it is you're trying to say, you can tell me after I eat this 3 foot high sandwich that I just made.

**Meanwhile**

The tornado then finally stopped and Nermal was then dropped right outside of Sandy's house without an air helmet on. Nermal knew that he had to get into Sandy's house as fast as possible if he was going to survive. He then swam over to Sandy's front door, managed to open it, and got inside just in time to get some air.

Nermal: Wow, that was a close one! I wonder if there's a helmet here I could use.

Nermal then went up to Sandy's tree and took one of her spare air helmets. Nermal then went back outside now wearing it.

Nermal: This feels much better.

Plankton: Hello.

Nermal: Who said that?

Plankton: I'm down here.

Nermal: Oh hi.

Plankton: Nermal I heard eve...

Nermal: Wait, how do you know what my name is?

Plankton: If you let me finish the sentence you'll know. I heard everything you said about me through the TV.

Nermal: Really?

Plankton: So I told the TV to suck you inside of itself so we could talk.

Nermal: Talk about what?

Plankton: I need you to help me with a little problem.

Nermal: Stealing the Krabby Patty formula?

Plankton: How'd you guess?


	2. Chapter II

Nermal and Plankton then left Sandy's house to get back to The Chum Bucket.

Plankton: So you've really always wanted me to successfully receive the Krabby Patty secret formula and have the ability to sell Krabby Patties at my restaurant?

Nermal: Yeah totally. I don't even think Mr. Krabs should be in the series.

Plankton: What series?

Nermal: Spongebob Squarepants.

Plankton: Oh yeah, I always forget that it's not called Sheldon J. Plankton and that it wasn't cancelled after 1 season.

After another 11 more minutes of talking with each other, Nermal and Plankton got to a bus stop and got on the next bus back to The Chum Bucket.

**Meanwhile in the kitchen of Garfield's house**

Garfield: Ok Odie I'm done with my sandwich, now what did you wanna tell me?

Odie: Arf.

Garfield: You're saying Nermal got sucked in the TV, yeah right.

Odie: Woof.

Garfield: Then prove it.

Odie and Garfield then went back into the living room. The TV was still on Nickelodeon where Nermal and Plankton were in The Chum Bucket talking with each other.

Garfield: Oh. Well that's pretty good evidence.

When Odie ran into the kitchen he accidently hit mute on the remote and broke it as he stepped on it, meaning they couldn't hear the TV. But they could still see what was happening.

Garfield: On account of what Nermal was saying before, I have a feeling that they're devising a plan on how to steal the Krabby Patty formula.

Odie: Bark.

Garfield: Odie, Nermal and Plankton aren't gonna get the Krabby Patty secret formula. The Spongebob writers would never let that happen.

Garfield got back up on the couch chair and decided to watch something else. He almost changed the channel but then he realized something.

Garfield: Wait a minute, what if I'm wrong? What if the Spongebob writers have no control over what happens in Bikini Bottom? Then Plankton and Nermal would get a Krabby Patty. Then the Krusty Krab would go out of business. It would all be my fault. Then Spongebob fanatics would be very sad. Then they would sue me and the judge would throw me in jail! Odie, do you know what they don't serve in the cafeteria of the jail here in Muncie?

Odie nodded no.

Garfield: They don't serve lasagna!

Garfield jumped off of the couch chair

Garfield: Well I'm not one to just sit here and do nothing when my favorite Nicktoon is in trouble! Or when there's a chance I might never get my favorite food ever again. Ok Odie, you and me are gonna go to Bikini Bottom and stop Nermal! Now let's go find something we can use for air helmets.

Odie looked at Garfield really confused.

Garfield: You know, the thing Sandy wears on her head.

Odie: Ruff.

Garfield and Odie went back into the kitchen and when they did the tornado thing came out of the TV again. It looked all around the living room and saw that nobody was there.

Tornado: What duh? Nobody's here. That gargles.

Disappointed the tornado went back into the TV.

**Meanwhile at the Krusty Krab**

Customer: I would like one Krabby Patty please.

Squidward: Spongebob, I need one Krabby Patty.

But Spongebob was too distracted by the newspaper he was reading to hear what Squidward said. Squidward looked in through the little window to the kitchen and he saw Spongebob sitting on the ground reading the newspaper.

Squidward: Spongebob, didn't you hear me? A customer ordered a Krabby Patty.

Spongebob: Oh, sorry I didn't hear you Squidward. It's just that today's Garfield comic is really funny. You wanna hear it?

Squidward: Not really.

Spongebob: Ok I'll tell you. You see, in the first panel Odie is drooling and Garfield is saying "Odie always likes drooling and it gets the rugs all wet". Then in the next one Garfield says "And I have a brilliant way to annoy Jon because of this". And then in the last panel Garfield says "Here you go Odie, Jon's pillow" and he puts the pillow under Odie's tongue. Isn't that really really funny?

Squidward didn't understand anything Spongebob said because Garfield was the only character that Squidward knew. But the only reason he knew Garfield's name was because it was also the name of the strip.

Squidward (sarcastically): It's hilarious.

Spongebob: Yeah I know.

Squidward: You know Spongebob, you've been reading the newspaper instead of making the patties for the past 3 weeks. So I get the feeling you care more about the comic section then the customers.

Spongebob jumped off the floor and started making Krabby Patties.

Spongebob: That is not true Squidward. I care about the customers more than anything else.

Squidward: Whatever, except what I meant was you care more about the comics than the customers do.

Spongebob: Oh I see.

Spongebob rolled up the newspaper and put it on the cutting table next to the grill. He then started cooking Krabby Patties.

**At the Chum Bucket**

Karen: Plankton, who is this weird creature?

Plankton: Karen. I would like you to meet Nermal. Nermal, this is my computer wife Karen.

Nermal: Hello.

Karen: And just what is he doing here?

Plankton: He is going to help me steal the secret formula.

Nermal: But just how am I supposed to do that?

Plankton: Simple, all you have to do is go into the Krusty Krab and order a Krabby Patty.

Nermal: How come you can't do that?

Plankton: Because Krabs wouldn't give me a Krabby Patty if his life depended on it. But he doesn't know you so it wouldn't matter to him whether or not you had one.

Nermal: You got a point.

Nermal left the Chum Bucket and went across the street to the Krusty Krab.

Plankton: This plan cannot possibly fail.

Karen: That's what you say about all your plans. Yet they all fail.

Plankton: This time it's different! Trust me.

**Back at Garfield's house**

Garfield and Odie came back in the living room wearing upside-down empty fishbowls on their heads.

Odie: Arf?

Garfield: We don't have to wear these on land, we're just wearing them now so that we're ready when we go into Bikini Bottom. Now just how did Nermal get inside the TV?

Odie: Ruff.

Garfield: And when did this tornado thing come?

Odie: Woof.

Garfield: Ok, so I'm sure that if I go in the kitchen again, then the tornado will come back.

Odie: Ruff?

Garfield: Oh, that's easy. I'll go in the kitchen and then the tornado will probably grab you. Once it does I'll run back in the living room and grab your leg so then we both get sucked in.

Garfield walked into the kitchen but left the door open a little so he could see what was happening in the living room. About 12 seconds passed and nothing had happened.

Garfield: Hhhm, maybe I need to close the door.

Garfield closed the door and the tornado came out of the TV again.

Tornado: Yes! Now there's someone I can take.

The tornado grabbed Odie and pulled him into the TV. Garfield ran back into the living room just in time to get a hold on Odie's leg. The next thing they knew they were in an incredibly flat place and could see nothing but darkness.

Garfield: Huh? Odie where'd you go?

Odie: Ruff.

Garfield: Oh, there you are.

Odie: Arf?

Garfield: I don't know, it feels like we're inside a newspaper or something.

Garfield reached his hand out of the newspaper and pulled off the rubber band that was holding it together. The newspaper then unfolded itself and Garfield and Odie came out. They looked around and they began to recognize where they were.

Garfield: Odie, it worked, we're in the Krusty Krab.

Spongebob: Is it just me or did I hear a cat who loves lasagna talk to a yellow dog with big brown ears?

Spongebob turned around and was completley shocked by who he saw.

Spongebob: Aaaaaahhhhhh! I can't believe it it's you! You're Garfield and Odie.

Garfield: Yeah, we know who we are.

Spongebob: It is such an honor for you two to be in my work station. I read your comic strip every day.

Garfield: Well we're glad to see that one of our fans is the star of a show we're fans of.

Spongebob: And since I like you guys so much, I'll let you eat here for free. I just need to go hypnotize Mr. Krabs first.

Garfield: No that won't be necessary because we're just here to...

Garfield saw what was out the window that Spongebob and Squidward talked to each other through and his eyeballs almost came out. He ran out the kitchen door and began to drool over what he had saw.

Garfield: They all look so delicious!

Spongebob (Yelling because Garfield was so far away from him): You mean the Krabby Patties that the customers are eating?

Garfield: No, I mean the customers who are eating the Krabby Patties.

The customers heard what Garfield said and they started running all around the restaurant while screaming and trying to avoid Garfield. One by one, Garfield would grab a customer and then swallow him or her whole. Once he had eaten them all he sat on the floor incredibly bloated.

Garfield: Burp! Now that is good eats. With how good the characters taste I think Nickelodeon is now gonna be the only channel I watch. Besides the Lasagna Channel obviously.

Spongebob who was now really mad at him ran up to Garfield.

Spongebob: Garfield, you can't eat the customers! If there's no customers, then the Krusty Krab will go out of business.

Garfield then remembered that that was the whole reason he came to Bikini Bottom in the first place. So he spit all the customers out and once they were all free, he was back down to his normal size.

Customer #1: Where did they all go?

Customer #2: What are you talking about?

Customer #1: I always like to say something crazy after I get swallowed and spitted out by a big fat orange thing.

Customer #3: This happens to you often?

Customer #1: No, but this one time is still every time because it's never happened before.

Spongebob: Now that that's settled, you never got to tell me why you and Odie came here.

Garfield: Oh because...

Garfield then began to have stomach pains.

Garfield: Oh! My stomach hurts.

Spongebob: You probably just have indigestion from eating all those fish. There's a pharmacy about a block from here, I'm sure they have something that can make that go away.

Garfield: Ok thanks.

Garfield then left the Krusty Krab and Spongebob went back in the kitchen. At that very moment Nermal walked in and approached Squidward.

Nermal: Hello, I would like to order...

Squidward: Would you like any fries with that Krabby Patty?

Nermal: How did you know I was gonna order that?

Squidward: Because that's all anybody ever orders. Now do you want fries or not?

Nermal: No thanks. Just a Krabby Patty should do it.

Squidward: Ok that'll be $2.99, Miss.

Nermal: Did you just call me what I think you called me?

Squidward: Well yeah, do you have a problem with that?

Nermal then kicked Squidward right out of the little boat thing and jumped on him in anger. Squidward wasn't expecting that on that day he would be head locked by a kitty cat but that's what was happening to him.

Nermal: I will have you know that I am not a Miss. Nor am I a Mrs., or a woman, or a girl, or even a female. I am 100 percent a guy!

Squidward: Ok I believe you. But will you get off of me now?

Nermal: First you have to agree that you will shout at the top of your lungs "I know for a fact that Nermal the cat is a boy!".

Squidward: Ok I promise.

Nermal got up off of Squidward and Squidward got up off of the floor.

Squidward: I know for a fact that Nermal the cat is a boy! There you happy?

Spongebob ran out of the kitchen faster than Mr. Krabs would if he heard a penny get dropped on the floor.

Spongebob: Oh my gosh! Nermal is standing right in front of me. This has to be the best day ever, I meet my 3 favorite comic strip characters all in 1 hour!

Nermal: And just who are exactly are your other 2 favorites?

Spongebob: Only the 2 most famous comic strip characters of all time, Garfield and Odie.

Nermal: Wait a minute Garfield and Odie are here.

Spongebob: Well that depends what you mean by here. Because Garfield is down the block meaning he's here in Bikini Bottom. But Odie is in the kitchen meaning he's here at the Krusty Krab.

Nermal: That's nice, but can I get the Krabby Patty I ordered now?

Spongebob: Yes, that's 2 dollars and ninety-nine cents.

There was a short moment of silence as Nermal tried to figure something out.

Spongebob: What's the matter?

Nermal: How am I supposed to get any money? I'm not wearing pants meaning I have no pockets.

Spongebob: Actually you do because you're in Bikini Bottom. When you're in Bikini Bottom your pockets are on the side of your waist.

Nermal reached into the part of his body that Spongebob described and somehow was able to pull out 2 one dollar bills, 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and 4 pennies.

Nermal: Wow!

Spongebob: It's like how a few minutes ago Garfield was able to eat the customers while still wearing his air helmet. We're also able to pull things we want or need out of absolutely nowhere.

Just like he said, Spongebob reached behind his back and out came a Krabby Patty. Spongebob took the money from Nermal and Nermal took the Krabby Patty.

Nermal: Well, thank you. Good bye.

Nermal tried to walk out the front door. But before he got the chance Mr. Krabs ran up to the door and blocked Nermal's way.

Mr. Krabs: What do you think you're doin'?

Nermal: I'm taking this Krabby Patty to go.

Mr. Krabs: Well you must not know that I put up the new "No Food To Go" policy.

Mr. Krabs pointed up to the top of one of the poles in the restaurant where Nermal saw a small yellow sign. On the sign there was a picture of a man walking out of the Krusty Krab while eating his food. But there was also a giant no symbol on it, meaning you had to eat your food before leaving.

Mr. Krabs: I created that policy so that me secret formula will be alot less likely to get into the hands of Plankton.

Nermal noticed that what Mr. Krabs had just said was completely ironic because the whole reason that Nermal came to the Krusty Krab in the first place was to help Plankton get the secret formula and now he couldn't. So he swallowed the Krabby Patty whole and left.

Mr. Krabs: Spongebob! Get back to work!

Spongebob: Oh, uh aye-aye Mr. Krabs.

Spongebob went back into the kitchen just as Garfield walked through the front door and smushed Mr. Krabs.

Garfield: Hey, Odie!

Odie ran up to Garfield and tried to lick him but could get his tongue through his helmet. So even though there were many impossible things people could do in Bikini Bottom, this was one that you couldn't because the Spongebob writers never thought Odie would be on their show.

Garfield: Well, there's one advantage for being underwater. Anyway Odie, did Nermal get here while I was gone?

Odie nodded yes and pointed at the Chum Bucket.

Odie: Woof.

Garfield: But he left. Well, I'm gonna go over there and see what him and Plankton are talking about.

Odie: Arf.

Garfield: What do you mean I would hear what my birthday present is? What on Earth makes you think they're talking about that? My birthday isn't for months.

Odie: Ruff.

Garfield: Oh Odie, you must have the smallest IQ on the face of the Earth.

Patrick's parents overheard what Garfield said and stood up from the table they were sitting at to complain.

Patrick's mom: Sorry but that isn't possible because our son Patrick's IQ is much smaller than your friend's.

Garfield: Oh yeah?

Patrick's mom: Yeah!

Garfield: Well I bet you a life-time supply of lasagna that you're wrong!

Patrick's dad: You like lasagna. Yuck!

Steam started to come out of Garfield's ears as his face turned red in anger. He then jumped on Patrick's dad and started beating him up.

Patrick's mom: My son challenges you to a stupid contest.

Garfield picked up Patrick's dad and started spinning him around in circles. He threw Patrick's dad in the air and he broke the giant glass window on the side of the Krusty Krab. An ambulance then came even though nobody had called 911.

Garfield: (yelling): You're lucky I have to go see what Nermal and Plankton are talking about or else you'd be in the hospital a whole lot longer!

Odie: Arf?

Garfield: No Odie I do not think that they'll be talking about what they're getting me for my birthday.

Patrick's mom: So do you accept my challenge or not?

Odie: Ruff.

Garfield (lying): That's his word for yes.

Patrick's mom: Ok then, meet me tomorrow at 4:30. Here's the address.

Patrick's mom got a piece of paper and wrote down the address to Patrick's house. She handed it to Odie and went back to her table. Odie couldn't understand what the words said at all.

Odie: Ruff.

Garfield: That says "120 Conch Street".

Odie still couldn't understand it and Garfield just knew that he wouldn't.

Garfield: Basically, she wants you to go to Patrick's rock tomorrow when the little hand is on the four and the big hand is on the six.

Garfield ran over to the Chum Bucket as fast as he could, which wasn't very fast. Odie still didn't understand what he had to do tomorrow because he didn't know numbers either. Garfield got to the Chum Bucket just in time to hear the important parts of Nermal and Plankton's conversation. Foolishly Plankton left a window open.

Plankton: What do you mean they wouldn't let you take the Krabby Patty to go?

Nermal: It was some rule Mr. Krabs made up.

Karen: I told you this plan would fail.

Plankton: No, all you said was that all the plans I've done before in my life have failed.

Garfield: I knew it.

Spongebob then appeared out of nowhere.

Spongebob: You knew what?

Garfield: Aaaaahhhhhh! What are you doing here?

Spongebob: I wanted to see what you were doing. But what was it you knew?

Garfield: I knew that Nermal is trying to help Plankton steal the secret formula.

Spongebob: Well why would he be doing that?

Garfield: Because earlier today Nermal basically said "I think Mr. Krabs is stupid and dumb and dumb and stupid".

(That is Nermal's opinion and not the author's)

Spongebob: Oh come on, who would ever...

Garfield pulled a tape recorder out of nowhere and pressed the play button.

Nermal's voice: Because I don't see why Mr. Krabs can't let him have it. I mean it's a hamburger recipe, how bad could it be if Plankton saw it?

Spongebob: Wow! I guess he does think that. But how do I know that isn't someone else, and the tape is just messed with to sound like Nermal's voice?

Garfield: Well, then listen to what they're saying now.

Nermal: Hey, I know how we could get the formula.

Spongebob: Gasp!

Garfield: Told you.

Nermal: First, we need a hot air balloon.

Spongebob: I say we go to the hot air balloon store and destroy all of them.

Garfield: Why?

Spongebob: Well, you don't want them to get the Krabby Patty recipe because you like my show, right?

Garfield: Uh-huh.

Spongebob: And I don't want them to get the Krabby Patty recipe for about 89 million obvious reasons, right?

Garfield: Uh-huh.

Spongebob: So I'm sure that if we work together we can make it so Nermal wishes he never set foot in your house.

Garfield: Wait a minute, how did you know that's what happened.

Spongebob: I guess just because I assumed you guys were watching TV, and I know that at Nermal's house they...

Garfield: Never mind.

Spongebob and Garfield shook hands and their new friendship was born.


	3. The Stupid Contest

**Patrick's Rock, Bikini Bottom, Some Day In 2010, At Some Time Around 3**

Female Announcer: Hello and welcome, to the Twenty-fifth Annual Stupid Contest!

Patrick fans in audience: Go Patrick! Go Patrick!

Odie fans in audience: Leave Patrick! Leave Patrick!

Female Announcer: And now, here's the host of the stupid contest...Bert Traffics!

Patrick's rock opened and Bert Traffics entered.

Traffics: Thank you Tiffany! It is an honor to be here in Patrick's rock today. But mostly because it's where the thing I've always wanted to host is happening.

Traffics: So, Bikini Bottom...

Audience: What?

Traffics: Are you ready for a stupid contest?

Audience: No.

**3 Seconds Later**

Traffics: How 'bout now?

Audience: Sure.

Traffics: Good.

Traffics: In this corner is a guy who has a hard time remembering his first name, our reigning champ, Bikini Bottom's own Patrick Star!

A bunch of pink and light green fireworks went off as Patrick walked in with his mom.

Patrick fans in audience: Yeah!

Patrick: Why did you make me do this Mom? You know I don't like it.

Patrick's mom: But it's so rewarding at the end when you get a big blue ribbon. Plus how do you know you hate it? You've never even done it.

Patrick: Actually I have, 24 times.

Patrick lifted up his black "I'm With The Dummy" t-shirt that had 24 blue ribbons on it.

Patrick's mom: Oh. Well I do quickly forget when somebody wins something that's blue.

Patrick: You can probably see a doctor about that.

Patrick's mom: Now go out there and win your very first blue ribbon.

Patrick: But I...

Traffics: And in this corner we have the challenger, a puppy dog who took 3 years just to learn how to breathe. All the way from Muncie, Indiana, give it up for Odie!

A bunch of yellow and brown fireworks went off as Odie walked in with Garfield.

Odie fans in audience: Yeah!

Garfield: Ok Odie, now is your time to shine!

Odie: Ruff.

Garfield: Oh-no! Don't tell me your nervous.

Odie: Arf.

Garfield: Well you shouldn't be. Your way stupider than Patrick. You wanna know how I know for sure?

Odie: Ruff.

Garfield: Well for one thing, you're not even smart enough to know how to talk. But second of all because Patrick does nothing all day long. And when you do nothing you sit still and when you sit still you think about stuff. So when Patrick thinks about the stuff he gets smarter. But you never sit still unless you're watching TV. But the only TV program that can make you smart are documentaries and I never turn one of those on unless they're about either pizza or lasagna. So this means that all the knowledge Patrick has sucked in, you've ignored. Resulting in you being the dumbest living thing in the entire galaxy.

For a moment Odie said nothing and just stood there slobbering.

Garfield: You didn't understand a word I said did you?

Odie nodded his head left and right indicating his answer no.

Garfield: That's good. Very good. But are you still nervous?

Odie nodded his head up and down indicating his answer yes.

Garfield: Why?

Odie: Arf.

Garfield: Patrick's undefeated, big deal. But if you're a big fat chicken then I'll be here for emotional support.

Odie smiled because Garfield had done something nice for him for the first time in 5 or 7 years.

Garfield: I'll be back in about an hour because I have to meet Spongebob at the hot air balloon store. But good luck. Go knock 'em dead.

Odie walked up to Patrick and punched him on the top of his head like a hammer. Stars started floating around it as he started to regain consciousness.

Garfield: Odie, knock 'em dead means don't let him win.

Odie: Ruff?

Garfield: The stupid contest.

Odie: Arf?

Garfield: The one that's happening right here right now.

Odie: Arf?

Garfield: Just forget it. I don't have time to answer all of your ridiculous questions. The hot air balloon store is on the other side of town and it closes in 3 hours. Good bye.

Garfield ran right out of Patrick's rock and got on a bus that just happened to be there. The bus drove out of sight and Patrick and Odie got up to their podiums where Bert Traffics was standing behind a table that was in between the two contestants.

Traffics: Well contestants, usually this contest lasts for about 11 hours because there are hundreds of questions in it, but the network wants to start their marathon of every single NFL football game ever played ever as soon as they can so we only have time for 6 questions. Press your big red button if you think you know the answer. For every question you answer incorrectly you score 10 points, but for every question you answer correctly you lose 10 points. Whoever has more points at the end wins.

Patrick: But since it's gonna be so short, how's about we do a little wager.

Odie: Ruff?

Patrick: Whoever loses has to do whatever the winner says for a month.

Odie thought that that bet was too risky but then realized it would be worth it if he won. Him and Patrick shook hands and Bert Traffics was ready to ask the first question.

Traffics: First question! What is 2+2?

**Buzz!**

Traffics: Odie, what is your answer?

Because the host couldn't speak Odie's language he held up three fingers in order to give his answer.

Traffics: That's incorrect! 10 points for you.

Odie fans in audience: Yeah!

A small scoreboard on Odie's podium went up to ten and he was now very motivated for the next question.

Traffics: Second question! What is your first name?

**Buzz!**

Traffics: Patrick, what is your answer?

Patrick: Uhhm, could you repeat the question?

Traffics: What is your first name?

Patrick: According to the script of this story my name is Patrick.

Traffics: That is correct. You lose 10 points.

Odie fans in audience: Yeah!

Patrick's podium went down to negative ten which made him very angry.

Patrick: Drat! I forgot this was a stupid contest.

Traffics: That's ok. It means you're getting even stupider.

Odie was afraid that he was going to lose because he thought negative numbers were bigger than positive ones.

Traffics: Third question! What is your last name?

**Buzz!**

Traffics: Odie, what is your answer?

Odie was trying to think of the answer but he couldn't. So he said nothing until time ran out.

**Whooly Whooly!**

Traffics: Sorry Odie but that sound means time's up. But you did give an answer and it was correct.

Odie: Arf?

Traffics: You don't have a last name because you're a dog. You lose ten points.

Patrick fans in audience: Yeah!

Odie's scoreboard went back town to zero. He was now incredibly angry because he didn't even give an answer.

Traffics: Fourth question! What did I just say?

**Buzz!**

Traffics: Patrick, what is your answer?

Patrick: You said "7-Eleven cups smell like puke once you throw them in the garbage".

Traffics: No. I said "Fourth Question! What did I just say?" I don't even know what 7-Eleven is. But anyway you get 10 points.

Patrick fans in audience: Yeah!

Patrick's scoreboard was now back to zero and it looked weird because he was happy about it.

Patrick: Yes! I'm no longer negative.

Traffics: The score is all tied up at 0. Only 2 questions left.

Patrick raised his right hand in the air.

Patrick: Excuse me Mr. Host guy but I have a question.

Traffics: What is it Patrick?

Patrick: How much is two?

Bert Traffics held up two fingers.

Traffics: This many.

Patrick: Oh.

Traffics: Fifth question! What color are you?

**Buzz!**

Traffics: Odie, what is your answer?

Odie held up a piece of paper with a picture of a glob of red paint on it.

Traffics: That is incorrect. 10 points for you.

Odie fans in audience: Yeah!

Odie's scoreboard went back up to ten but he was cinda disappointed because red is his favorite color.

Traffics: Final question! And this one's gonna be pretty tricky. How do you spell Nicktoons?

**Buzz!**

Traffics: Patrick, what is your answer?

Patrick: N-I-C-K-T-U-N-E-Z.

Traffics: Wrong! 10 points for you Patrick.

Patrick fans in audience: Yeah!

Patrick: Yes.

Traffics: And the final score is Patrick 10 and Odie 10. For the first time in stupid contest history we have a tie!

Everyone in the audience: A tie!

Traffics: You heard me. So thst means nobody gets a blue ribbon.

Patrick and Odie were sad for a moment because neither of them won.

Traffics: But it also means nobody has to be anybody's servent.

The two of them became happy to here that something good came out of the tied game.

Patrick: You know what, I'm cinda glad we tied because I was hoping that he could be friends.

Odie (In a Scooby-Doo kind of voice): Really?

Patrick: Yeah. I say we go to The Pizza Palace and celebrate our non-victories.

Odie and Patrick walked out of his house to get to The Pizza Palace. Another friendship had just been born but the fans weren't too happy about it.

Everyone in the audience: Booooo!

Everybody started throwing garbage and tomatoes at Bert Traffics until he finnaly thought of what to say.

Traffics: People! People! Stop! Stop! Stop!

Everybody stopped so they could listen to what he had to say.

Traffics: What are you booing?

An Odie fan: The fact that Odie and Patrick are friends now.

Traffics: But since they are then why are you still rivals with the Patrick fans?

A Patrick fan: Hey, he's got a point.

Same Odie fan from before: Yeah you're right. Let's all go to The Pizza Palace.

Everyone in the audience ran out of Patrick's house excited.

Traffics: If only every sporting event could end like this.

Patrick's mom (angrily): You mean where there's no true winner.

Traffics: No I mean when a rivalry has ended.

Patrick's mom: That's not the only thing that's ended today.

Traffics: Well what else has?

Patrick's mom: My son's ability to say that he's an undefeated stupid contest champion.

Traffics: Techniclly he still can because he didn't lose today.

Patrick's mom did the same thing to Bert Traffics that Odie did to Patrick earlier. She walked out of her son's house angry enouch to rip a phone book in half. Bert Traffics slowly got up off the ground.

Traffics: I say we go to that football marathon now.

Cameraman: Sorry the network cancelled it.

Traffics: Why?

Cameraman: Because they realized very few people would watch it and that it would take years to broadcast.

Traffics: Are you saying that my all time favorite TV sports event was shortened for no reason.

Cameraman: Pretty much.

Bert Traffics dropped his microphone laid down on the floor and started crying.


	4. Chapter IV

Garfield and Spongebob arrived at the hot air balloon store.

"Now what's the plan again?" Garfield asked Spongebob.

"We're gonna destroy all of these." Spongebob said.

Garfield looked up at one of the hot air balloons and worried about the consequences.

"Are you sure about this?" Garfield asked worried. "Because these cost a lot of money. The guy who owns the store is gonna make us pay for them." Garfield said concerned.

"It's no problem." Spongebob informed Garfield. "The company that makes the snail food I give Gary is owned by someone who always wanted to be a fry cook." he said.

"So?" Garfield asked.

"So he has a policy that all fry cooks who buy his products get paid for it." answered Spongebob. "I've saved all the money I've gotten from it; I have about $28 million stashed in my attic." he continued.

"So how come in that episode where you broke a bunch of shells you didn't pay for them with that money?" Garfield asked.

Spongebob put his fingers on his chin and blinked twice.

"Well that's not important right now." Spongebob said. "What's important is how we're gonna destroy all these balloons." he continued.

"That's simple." Garfield replied.

Garfield walked over to one of the hot air balloons and started climbing one it. Once he got to the balloon part, he let out one of his claws and started to poke it into the balloon.

"Wait!" Garfield and Spongebob heard someone yell. "Don't pop that balloon!" the same person shouted.

"Angry Jack?" Spongebob said.

"I know who I am." Angry Jack replied as he came in from another room.

"What are you doing here?" Garfield asked as he got down from the hot air balloon.

"After Spongebob destroyed all my shells, I had to sell all the shattered remains to collectors and get a new job." Angry Jack answered.

"Well I highly doubt you're gonna answer yes but, could we destroy all of your hot air balloons?" Spongebob asked.

"No." Angry Jack answered.

"I didn't think so." said Spongebob. "But you don't understand, Angry Jack. An evil organism and a cute gray kitten are coming this way to use one of your hot air balloons to do something bad." he explained.

"What a coincidence." Angry Jack commented. "Because an evil organism and a cute gray kitten were here about 11 minutes ago." he continued.

"Oh-no!" Spongebob shouted. "That's probably them." he continued.

**Elsewhere**

Nermal and Plankton were riding their purple with green polka dots hot air balloon through the sky.

"So what are we supposed to do with this hot air balloon, Nermal?" Plankton asked.

"Nothing." answered Nermal. "I just knew that Garfield and Spongebob were easedropping on us, so I knew that if I said we needed a hot air balloon they would go destroy them all and that would distract them so we could do my real plan." he explained.

"And what's that?" asked Plankton.

Nermal thought for a minute, but his brain couldn't get anything.

"I can't remember." Nermal admitted as they landed on a tall building.

"I told you purple with green polka dots was bad luck. We should've gotten the red with orange stripes balloon." Plankton complained.

"And I told you, that balloon was orange with red stripes." Nermal corrected.

Plankton and Nermal started arguing over random stuff such as what shade of blue is the best, whether or not to eat Chinese food every Tuesday, if it's a bad idea to go outside on a very hot day or not, and many other very random things.

**Back At Angry Jack's**

"So what are we gonna do now that Nermal and Plankton have already stoalen a hot air balloon?" Spongebob asked himself as he walked in circles.

"We're just gonna have to go look for them." Garfield said as him and Spongebob started to walk out the door.

"Wait." said Angry Jack. "Are you Garfield?" he asked as he pointed to Garfield.

"Nobody's ever asked me that before." Garfield commented. "But yes, I'm Garfield." he answered.

"That's good." Angry Jack said. "Because a friend of mine said he wanted to see you." he continued.

A door opened and out came a robot on wheels with two mechanical arms on the side.

"Oh-no! It can't be! It is!" Garfield screamed in fear and shock. "It's the Shlocko Laundromutt!" he shouted in more fear in shock.

"He said something about wanting to give you a sponge bath." explained Angry Jack.

"Why?" asked Garfield.

"Because you said that you wanted one, long ago." Angry Jack answered.

"No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!" Garfield repeated over and over as he tried to run outside.

The Shlocko Laundromutt grabbed Garfield and threw him in a bathtub just before he got outside.

"It's ok, I just got a little wet." Garfield said. "The Shlocko Laundromutt doesn't have a sponge." he continued.

The Shlocko Laundromutt reached over to Spongebob, grabbed him, and stuck him to a stick. But Spongebob pulled himself off and ran out of the store before the Shlocko Laundromutt could start.


	5. Nermal's Defense

"And I'm telling you, Cartoon Network doesn't have any good shows!" (that is Plankton's opinion not the author's) Plankton yelled at Nermal.

"And I'm telling you, Cartoon Network is awesome!" Nermal yelled at Plankton defending his TV channel. "In fact, if I wouldn't get sued for it, I would put the Cartoon Network logo at the bottom right corner of the screen right now just to make you mad." he said. "Hey look at that, I didn't even mean too and I said the name of a Cartoon Network show. Sweet." he continued.

Plankton was about to say something else when he realized something.

"Nermal, why do we keep arguing with each other about random stuff?" asked Plankton.

"I don't know." answered Nermal.

Plankton looked over the basket of the hot air balloon and saw the sign of the building upside down.

"Oh I see, we're on top of the Arboutran Perfume Store and Factory." said Plankton. "It makes you argue about random stuff with people." he continued.

"That's ridicules." said Nermal

"It is not!" Plankton yelled.

**Back At The Hot Air Balloon Store**

Spongebob came back in after the Shlocko Laundromutt was turned off. He then helped Garfield out of the tub.

"Now what?" Spongebob asked as he looked up at the ceiling and took two steps forward.

"We're just gonna have to go find Nermal and Plankton and try to stop them." Garfield answered.

All of a sudden the window opened and a letter flew through the air. Spongebob fortunately caught it.

"Dear S&G, we would like to inform you that we have successfully stolen the formula." Spongebob read off the letter starting to get worried. "We read it and it is completely disgusting. So please come to the Arboutran Perfume Store and Factory and use the mind erasing device Plankton invented yesterday on us to erase our minds of what the formula is, the fact we thought it was disgusting, and that we found it. Signed P&N" he continued.

"This sounds a little fishy." Garfield said with his finger up against his helmet.

"I know, everybody knows there's no such thing as the mind erasing device." Spongebob replied.

"No, not that." said Garfield. "I mean that there's no way they would find the formula that easily, not like it, and then want to forget any of it happened so they could do it again." he continued.

"You're probably right." Spongebob said. "They're probably just trying to trick us." he said.

"Although, they're probably expecting us to think it's a trick so that we won't come to the thing they don't want us to come to." Garfield said.

"But maybe they'd be expecting us to be expecting that we would think it's a trick so we go to the thing they want us to go to." said Spongebob.

"Yet there's also the possibility of them expecting us to expect that they would expect..." Garfield started to say.

"STOP!" Angry Jack yelled. "Let me see the letter." he demanded.

Spongebob handed the letter to Angry Jack. Angry Jack closely looked at the handwriting.

"Yep. This is the handwriting of a nervous person." said Angry Jack.

"How can you tell?" asked Spongebob.

"I see that the lines on the letters are all squiggly. So whoever wrote it must have been shaking. And people shake when they lie so your enemies must be lying." explained Angry Jack.

"Oh, I see. Maybe they should call you Angry Sherlock instead." said Spongebob as Garfield took the letter and looked at it.

"But what if they were expecting us to think that the squiggly letters would make us think they were nervous?" asked Garfield.

"Meaning they want us to go there and that it's not a trick?" Spongebob asked.

"Exactly." said Garfield.

"Oh geez." whispered Angry Jack.

"We better get to the factory and fast." said Garfield.

"Right!" yelled Spongebob.

Garfield and Spongebob then ran out the door.

"They're weird." said Angry Jack just before he walked away.


	6. Chapter VI

Garfield and Spongebob quickly got to the Arboutran Perfume Store and Factory and went up to the roof. When they got to the roof, they saw Odie and Patrick get there a fraction of a second later.

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Spongebob.

"We got a letter from Plankton and Nermal saying to come up here and erase their memories." Patrick answered.

"Hey, we got the same letter." Garfield said.

"Well now it's obviously a trick because they sent it to both of us and neither of them are here." said Garfield.

"No, it's not." corrected Patrick.

"Then how do you explain us both getting the letter and them not being here?" Spongebob asked.

Patrick spat a little.

"Duh. We both got the letter because Plankton and Nermal forgot they sent it to us and then they sent it to you too. Or maybe they sent it to you just in case me and Odie couldn't come, and they're not here yet because they're running late." Patrick answered.

"That's ridicules." Garfield commented. "It's clearly a trick." he said.

"No it's not!" yelled Patrick.

"Yes it is!" yelled Garfield.

"Arf!" Odie yelled.

"Is too!" Spongebob yelled.

Soon the 4 of them started arguing about something new that was really random. Then they started changing their argument over and over, and every time it was a really random thing. Not too far away from the store/factory was Nermal and Plankton wearing gas masks.

"Yes! It's working!" Plankton cheered. "Garfield and friends are now very distracted by all their random arguing." he said. "By the way, why and where did you get these gas masks?" he asked.

"I got them so the perfume wouldn't affect us and I got them from Garfield's uncle Barney." answered Nermal.

"Hey, I think I saw a Garfield comic with that uncle in it once." Plankton said. "Isn't he the guy who got turned into Garfield's aunt Bernice?" he asked.

"I think so." Nermal answered.

Nermal and Plankton then got really big pupils.

"Oh-no!" Nermal and Plankton said at the same time.

The two than fell to the ground and couldn't move. Dresses started showing up on them and hair started growing from the top of their heads and wouldn't stop growing for a whole minute. But soon they could stand up again.

"Aaaaaahhhh!" they both screamed.

"We're girls!" Nermal shouted.

"You're gonna have to call me Sh..." Plankton started to say. "Wait a minute. Weren't you a girl before?" she asked.

Nermal rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Maybe if we take these masks off we'll go back to normal." Nermal suggested.

"Not very likely but let's give it a try." Plankton said.

Nermal and Plankton took off their gas masks and then they returned to male form.

"Frooh, that was close." said Nermal.


	7. The Fall of Spongebob and Garfield

"Come on, you've got to admit it." said Spongebob. "My legs are clearly the longest of the 4 of us." he continued.

"Don't be ridiculous." Garfield replied. "It's clearly Odie who would win in that contest." he said.

"Huhh?" Odie said.

"But I still think that pinball should be called Rubcopwich in the eastern parts of European cities that have the same names as American ones." interrupted Patrick.

"Still? What do you mean still?" asked Spongebob. "That was never even in conversation." he said.

"I don't know." Patrick answered.

They continued to argue about random things for the next 3 minutes.

"Wait a minute!" Garfield shouted. "Why are we arguing about random stuff?" he asked.

Spongebob thought about that for a minute and then realized something.

"Oh! I know why we're arguing." said Spongebob.

"Why?" Garfield asked.

"Because we're so close to them making the Arboutran perfume." answered Spongebob.

"That answer is as meaningless as the word 'because'." Garfield replied.

"No, it's the perfect answer." said Spongebob. "Because this perfume makes people argue about random stuff." he continued.

"That's ridicules." Garfield replied. "Who would buy such a product?" he asked.

"I'm with the cat." Patrick said as he walked over to Garfield.

"I do have a name, you know." Garfield told Patrick as he slapped him.

They continued to argue about random stuff, when Spongebob realized something.

"Guys, look!" Spongebob shouted as he pointed at something. "Plankton and Nermal are running towards the Krusty Krab!" he continued.

Spongebob, Garfield, Patrick, and Odie all jumped off the building.

**After 5 Minutes, the four were still falling.**

"Wait a minute, why are we doing this?" asked Spongebob.

"I don't know." Patrick answered.

"But shouldn't we be at the bottom by now? Garfield asked.

**3 3/1478355678340693476 Months Later**

"Ok, this is getting really annoying." Garfield said.

"What do you mean 'getting'?" Patrick asked rhetorically.

When they finally got to the bottom, they started chasing Nermal and Plankton.

"Did we really have to travel America and go to every single football game?" Plankton asked Nermal.

"We got turned into girls, we had to do something manly." Nermal answered.

"What we did wasn't manly, it was just insane." Plankton replied.


	8. Chapter VIII

Nermal and Plankton made it to the Krusty Krab, and until then, didn't even realize they were being chased.

"Alright, the gig's up Nermal and Plankton." Spongebob said.

"Ok, you guys win, here's the formula." Nermal said as he took his paw from behind his back and handed it to Spongebob.

Nermal than winked to Plankton.

"Why did you just wink?" Garfield asked.

"No reason." answered Nermal.

Nermal than winked to Plankton again.

"You did it again!" Garfield shouted.

"Oh, well, my eye's just been twitchy today." Nermal said before winking again.

"Are you sure?" Garfield asked. "Because you're only winking after you stop talking." he added.

"That's just how it's been working." Nermal explained before winking at Plankton.

"Then how do you explain how you look at Plankton each time you 'twitch'?" asked Garfield.

"Because he's who caused it so I'm letting him know that this horrible thing si still happening to me." explained Nermal before winking at Plankton again.

"Oh really?" Garfield asked.

"Yes." Nermal answered before winking at Plankton again.

"Well, ok then." Garfield said still a little suspicious as him, Spongebob, Patrick, and Odie walked away.

"Nermal! I can't believe you just gave them the secret formula!" Plankton yelled. "And if you got it a long time ago, why didn't you..." he started to ask.

"Plankton, calm down." Nermal said. "What I gave them was a piece of paper in a bottle." he said. "I've got the formula right here." he said as he took the formula from behind his back.

"What?" Plankton said in shock. "When did you get it?" he asked as he took it out of Nermal's paws.

"When we were in the Krusty Krab earlier today, I took it out of Spongebob's pocket." Nermal answered.

"Well, why didn't you give it to me before?" asked Plankton.

"I was waiting for your birthday, but you made me ruin the surprise with all that getting mad even after I gave you signals of me lying." Nermal answered.

"You were giving me signals that you were lying?" Plankton said confused. "When?" he asked.

"When I winked after talking." answered Nermal.

"Since when does winking after you talk mean you're lying?" Plankton asked.

"Since the beginning of time." answered Nermal.

"Well I never knew that." said Plankton.

"Oh, well this is stupid. You guys use so much old fashion stuff on your show, you don't even know about stuff that's been around forever." Nermal complained.

"Well actually..." Plankton started to say.

"You know, I bet if someone told you the joke about the chicken who crosses the road, you'd laugh and then say 'That's a good one, I wish someone had thought of it sooner.'" Nermal said.

"Actually, I haven't heard that one." Plankton said. "How's it go?" he asked.

Nermal then gave a very annoyed face to the camera.


End file.
